NerdNightmare

Todays Flavor: Dwarven Draught

Most dwarves spend a great deal of their time underground, so it goes without saying that they probably know a thing or two about roots. Historically the various forms of Dwarven alcoholic beverages have received the dragons share of the press, the Dwarven root beer I just enjoyed should not be over looked by thirsty adventurers.

The label on the bottle states:

“Dwarves know mining, dwarves know metalworking, but above all, dwarves know root beer. Dwarven Draught is inspired by the best recipes of the dwarven clans. It’ll put hair on yer chin.

Effect: It’s good for what ales you!”

Personally I would have been more interested in sampling an array of various dwarven beers and ales, but the Jones Soda Co. does not dabble in such liquids, so a root beer is the next best option. The drink was very smooth and overall quite enjoyable. Of the two beverages I have reviewed thus far, the Dwarven Draught is the better drink, though its effect is paltry compared to the Brain Juice’s 1d10 +INT

A looooong time ago I ordered a case of soda from the Jones Soda Co.  But this was not just any old case of delicious soft drinks, this was a case of soda with a Dungeons & Dragons theme! I held out on drinking them for a while, mostly because they were sitting in my closet and not in my immediate thoughts. Yesterday I saw the box and decided it was time to do crack them open, and to write a review of each flavor over the next few days.

Todays Flavor: Illithid Brain Juice

The Illithid are a race of psionic powered monsters also known as Mind-Flayers. They look like squid headed humans, a beast straight out of a Lovecraft tale.  Each drink has a description on the back of the label. This one states:  To a mind flayer, nothing tastes sweeter than yummy brain juice. Now you can feed your own inner elder brain. Tentacles not required.

Effect: You are stunned (save ends)  After Effect: You feel smarter for 1d10 minutes.

My initial theory was that the contents of the bottle was juice obtained from the brain of a slain Illithid. However the description on the label tells a different tale. The beverage is in fact merely the drink of choice for the Illithid race. I don’t know which option is more unappetizing. Also I did not feel much smarter after I finished…

The fluid is a pale purple color and tastes like a melted purple Otter Pop. Over all the soda was good, but could have used more sugar.